


Oh no...

by Im_Angry_and_Smol



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: ...yet, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Astrid and Heather are queens, Crack Treated Seriously, Dagur and Heather have adopted Hiccup, F/M, Gen, Group chat, HIccup and Astrid aren't dating, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III and Snotlout Jorgenson are Cousins, Hiccup is so done, Minor Heather/Fishlegs Ingerman, Snotlout being dumb, The twins are scary, chatfic, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:09:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29981292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_Angry_and_Smol/pseuds/Im_Angry_and_Smol
Summary: There are few ways Hiccup can keep the group in line and updated. The best way is to make a group chat. Which mya or may not have evidence of illegal activity, but we don't talk about that.
Relationships: Astrid & Fishlegs & Hiccup & Ruffnut & Snotlout & Tuffnut, Dagur the Deranged & Heather, Dagur the Deranged & Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, Heather & Astrid Hofferson, Heather/Fishlegs Ingerman, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Heather, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, heres a chatfic because seriously there are not enough in this fandom. I don't own HTTYD, pls don't sue me. Enjoy! :)

HiccupHaddock created a group chat  
HiccupHaddock added AstridHofferson  
HiccupHaddock added FishlegsIngerman  
HiccupHaddock added SnotloutJorgenson  
HiccupHaddock added RuffnutThorston  
HiccupHaddock added TuffnutThorston

AstridHofferson: what is this

FishlegsIngerman: I think its a group chat.

SnotloutJorgenson: he solved the mystery!!!

SnotloutJorgenson: give the fish a prize..

HiccupHaddock: Don’t be rude Snotlout. Yeah its a group chat

AstridHofferson: why

RuffnutThorston: to plan our newest scheme, duh

TuffnutThorston: yessssss, this is awesome hiccy

SnotloutJorgenson: hiccy???!!

HiccupHaddock: *sigh* no, thats not what this is for. And stop calling me hiccy

AstridHofferson: I don’t have time for this, I’m going back to class

AstridHofferson has left the chat

FishlegsIngerman: I have class too. Bye guys see you later.

HiccupHaddock: Bye Fish

FishlegsIngerman has left the chat

SnotloutJorgenson: pffft, losers

RuffnutThorston: oh shoot! somebody just threw a glitterbomb at tuff. Gtg

SnotloutJorgenson has left the chat

RuffnutThorston has left the chat

TuffnutThorston has left the chat

HiccupHaddock: Figures. see u guys later..

HiccupHaddock has left the chat

Time- Thursday, 11:58 pm

SnotloutJorgenson: guys?

SnotloutJorgenson: help

SnotloutJorgenson: its dark out here...and cold

AstridHofferson: go to sleep.

SnotloutJorgenson: Astrid!! Oh thank god someone locked me out of the dorms

AstridHofferson has left the chat

SnotloutJorgenson: Astrid??

FishlegsIngerman: Is this why the twins asked me for your keys earlier?

SnotloutJorgenson: YOU GAVE THEM TO THEM??!!!

FishlegsIngerman: Sorry, Snotlout.

HiccupHaddock: Guys pls go to sleep, Im studying

FishlegsIngerman: Hiccup it’s late, you go to sleep. And the twins locked Snotlout out of our dorm.

HiccupHaddock: Im fine fish. I’ll go take care of it

SnotloutJorgenson: thanK YOU

FishlegsIngerman has left the chat

HiccupHaddock has left the chat

SnotloutJorgenson has left the chat

Time- Saturday, 1:05 pm

TuffnutThorston: our names r boring

RufnutThorston: i concur

TuffnutThorston: hey hiccup! give us admin privileges

AstridHofferson: Don’t

HiccupHaddock: I’m not stupid. But other names would be fun…

AstridHofferson: Hiccup..

HiccupHaddock: What, milady? :)

AstridHofferson: You know what.

HiccupHaddock: :(

TuffnutThorston: admin privleges???

HiccupHaddock: knock yourself out

TuffnutThorston has admin privileges

TuffnutThorston: gladly!

HiccupHaddock: Not literally!!

RuffnutThorston: ur no fun

TuffnutThorston has changed his name to T-man

T-man has changed the group chat name to ‘Oppressed genius’

AstridHofferson: Really?

T-man: i love having power

T-man has changed SnotloutJorgenson to Snotster

HiccupHaddock: You have to admit thats funny

AstridHofferson: I admit to nothing

AstridHofferson: but yes.

T-man has changed RuffnutThorston to Hissy-Missy

HiccupHaddock: I regret everything

Hissy-Missy: ive been called worse

T-man: Oh! Ive got a great name

T-man has changed HiccupHaddock to MisTeR hiCcsTeR

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: I have..no words

AstridHofferson: It suits you.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: I can hear you snorting from your dorm

Hissy-Missy: wheres fishface and snotty?

T-man: sister you are a genius!

T-man has changed FishlegsIngerman to Fishface

AstridHofferson: Fishlegs has class and Snotlout is sick.

T-man: howd he get sick??

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: you locked him outside in the middle of october. At night.

Hissy-Missy: he’ll get over it

AstridHofferson: I have track to go to, cya

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Cya


	2. dont stALK ME!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> weeooo! its me again in the same day! Pls enjoy! :)

Time- Monday, 2:47 pm Chat- Oppressed genuis

Snotster: i can’t find my baby cousin

Snotster: srsly guys, i haven’t seen him in forever

Snotster: what happened to my name??

Snotster: where r u guys??

T-man: wait whos missing?

Snotster: hiccup

Hissy-Missy: oh he’ll be fine. We talked to him on saturday

Snotster: who r u?

Hissy-Missy: wouldnt you like to know, weather boy

Snotster: isnt that a vine? Aren’t those dead?

Fishface: Has anyone seen Hiccup?

T-man: he went to track practice w/ astrid

Hissy-Missy: track is on saturdays and break day is monday you idiot

Fishface: Is he in class? I thought art was today..

T-man: nah, that was this morning, he should be out right now

T-man: but he did go to track on saturday

Snotster: how do you know?

Hissy-Missy: we just know

Fishface: That’s concerning. But seriously, where is Hiccup?

T-man: oh, we don’t know that

Snotster: real helpful guys. You know everything except what matters

AstridHofferson: Stop blowing up the chat. I’m studying.

Fishface: But we don’t know where Hiccup is.

AstridHofferson: He’s old enough to wander without an adult, leave him be. 

AstridHofferson: Why do you want to know anyway?

Hissy-Missy: idk, snotty was asking.

Snotster: he’s not responding to my texts and I haven’t seen him since friday, I am concerned.

AstridHofferson: -_- 

Snotster: I also need his help

Fishface: Hiccup if you are reading this, please respond. Snotlout hasn’t stopped begging to help him since saturday night and I think it might be illegal.

AstridHofferson: Why would Hiccup help with that?

Hissy-Missy: also why does snotlout need help breaking the law??

T-man: he breaks the fashion laws enough on his own already

Snotster: hEY

Snotster: im gonna ignore that. Anyways have you heard of Dagur and Heather? Twins?

T-man: The guy with red hair, scar on his face and awesome tattoos?

Hissy-Missy: that girl who wears leather to classes and is actually super sweet?

Snotster: yes, so anyway somehow hiccup is like best friends with them. Like I’m pretty sure they adopted him against his will. But I was hoping that hiccup could ask dagur to help me with a thing.

AstridHofferson: A thing?

Snotster: Yes.

Hissy-Missy: I’m pretty sure that hiccup went to the city library.

Snotster has left the chat

AstridHofferson: I thought you didn’t know where he was.

T-man: we have resources

AstridHofferson: If I ever find a tracker in my clothes, on my phone, or on my person you and your twin will never see the light of day again.

T-man: Noted and accepted, ma’am.

Hissy-Missy: heard loud and clear.

Fishface: I still want to know how they figured out where Hiccup is.

T-man has left the chat

Hissy-Missy has left the chat

AstridHofferson: Don’t question it. It encourages them.

AstridHofferson has left the chat

Fishface has left the chat

Time- Monday, 4:01 Chat- Oppressed genuis

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: ALRIGHT, which one of you jokers told Snotlout I’d help him repaiNT THE FOOTBALL FIELD!!!

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: and how’d you even find me?!?!

Fishface: There is a 85% chance that the twins have put trackers on us or have copies of our schedules.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Forget I even asked.

Snotster: Nice name, hiccup.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Thank you. *eye roll*. Ok, I’m scrolling through the past messages and how’d you even find out about Dagur and Heather???

Snotster: I saw you guys studying together on the baseball field. After that I just kinda followed you around.

AstridHofferson: Its not cool to stalk people Snotlout.

Hissy-Missy: Talk about being weird.

T-man: btw did you see Snotlout get banned from the city library?

Hissy-Missy: yeah, what did you do?

Snotster: Did you follow me to the city??

T-man: Perhaps.

AstridHofferson: I’m done. You can tell me about your accidental adoption in private messages Hiccup.

AstridHofferson has left the chat

MisTeR hiCcsTeR has left the chat

Snotster: Finally! Hiccstrid is gone

Fishface: Hiccstrid?

Hissy-Missy: Get w/ the program fishy, there’s a bet on whether they’ll admit their feelings by the end of the school year.

T-man: But they don’t know so, zippy-lippy

Fishface: won't they see the messages?

Hissy-Missy: don’t worry about it, we’ll take care of it.

Snotster: you two are utterly terrifying

T-man: careful snotlout dont use all your big boy words in one sentence.

Snotster: I hate you all

Snotster has left the chat

Hissy-Missy: Tuff, dont we have a freshman tour to crash?

Hissy-Missy has left the chat

T-man has left the chat

Fishface: I honestly worry about this group sometimes. 

Fishface has left the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always awesome! Pls forgive the lack of regular updates... Stay happy and rock the world!


	3. Headbands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is much craziness and I have no regrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back! Another update is in store, I don't own HTTYD so don't sue me. Pls, enjoy! :)

Time- Wednesday, 9:07 am Chat- Oppressed genius

AstridHofferson: Hiccup, if you don’t stop stealing my headbands I will tell Heather it was toothless who ruined her favorite combat boots.

AstridHofferson. OH. Wrong chat. No one saw this.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Really Astrid? You had to make this mistake???

AstridHofferson: We have too many chats and conversations.

Snotster: this is amazing!! And hilarious!! :D im crying

Fishface: Why does Hiccup need headbands?

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: None of your business

AstridHofferson: He can’t keep his long, luscious hair out of his face when he studies.

Hissy-Missy: is this why i can hear you screeching early in the mornings or muttering to yourself when you lose a headband?

AstridHofferson: Yes.

Snotster: Wait, hiccup is sneaking into the girls dorm in the mornings and stealing Astrids hair accessories?

AstridHofferson: Yes.

Fishface: Wouldn’t it just be easier to cut your hair?

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: I’m not allowed. Besides I like it.

Fishface: …

Snotster:...

Fishface: Isn’t it...YOUR hair??

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Yes. Astrid insists that I’ll look like a dork is I cut it and I don’t have a problem with it, so it stays.

T-man: y is Astrid complaining about you taking her hair stuff if shes the reason you have long hair?

AstridHofferson: He can buy his own headbands.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: But they’re EXPENSIVE!! Five dollars for a pack of three?!?! No thank you.

Fishface: Five dollars!? That’s ridiculous, no wonder you take Astrids.

Snotster: so you have gone to the store for headbands??

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Me, Dagur and Heather were at the mall and she dragged us into macy’s. I looked bc it was convenient.

T-man: i think amazon has good deals on headbands. But the quality is iffy, what brand does astrid use?

AstridHofferson: None of your business.

T-man: I’ll find out, lets move this convo elsewhere

T-man has left the chat

Snotster has left the chat

Fishface has left the chat

MisTeR hiCcsTeR has left the chat

AstridHofferson: What just happened?

Hissy-Missy: dont look at me sister

Time- Wednesday, 9:17 am Chat: four bros, chillin’

SnotMan: tuff! This chat is SUPPOSED to be a secret!

Fishy: You nearly spilled the beans.

RedHeadedFury: The beans dang near been spilled.

SnotMan: what hiccup said!

ResidentManiac: apologies are in order my dear brothers.i am very sorry. But, we have hair business to attend to.

RedHeadedFury: Forgiveness is given. Astrid uses nike and JUNK headbands.

SnotMan: thats a stupid name

Fishy: Don’t criticize. Does Ruff wear headbands?

ResidentManiac: oh yeah, but we shop for ours together them split them later. We go on amazon. JUNK is good for style but nike is on point for keeping it out of your face

SnotMan: is this a weird conversation?

Fishy: I have no idea, weirder things have happened.

RedHeadedFury: I honestly don’t care how weird this might be or that tuff is the expert on something for once. I’m just glad I know about headbands now.

SnotMan: you know what? Fine. I gtg, c ya guys in study hour

Fishy: Please don’t forget your books this time.

SnotMan has left the chat

RedHeadedFury: I’m sure he’ll try Fishlegs

Fishy: I hope so.

ResidentManiac: Hiccup, not to alarm you. But i think i just saw the football team heading for our dorm. Dagurs leading.

RedHeadedFury: laksjflakjklf

RedHeadedFury has left the chat

Fishy: What.

ResidentManiac: he’ll be fine

ResidentManiac has left the chat

Fishy has left the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, there is no update schedule and I apologize. Comments and kudos are always welcome! Stay happy and rock the world!


	4. It's Beserk...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ~back~ and with a new chapter aren't you all proud? Please..enjoy! :)

Time- Friday, 4:23 Chat- Oppressed genius

Fishface: Guys, can we add people?

T-man: who?

Hissy-Missy: are they safe?

Snotster: What is that even supposed to mean?

AstridHofferson: Fishlegs, who are you talking abt?

Fishface: Heather.

Hissy-Missy: I’m down for another girl here

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Heathers ok.

Snotster: I love this idea

AstridHofferson: Don’t be weird Snotlout.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Shouldn’t we invite Dagur too? Its only fair.

T-man: Y.E.S.

Fishface: Alright.

AstridHofferson: We’re finally gonna meet your surrogate brother, Hiccup. :D

Snotster: first, Astrid just expressed happiness in a text(scary) Second, heather adopted him too, so we’re meeting his sister too

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: I just want to be clear I did not have any say in it.

Hissy-Missy: nbdy wants to know y fish here was talking to heather in the first place??

T-man: they hang out everyday, how have you not seen them

AstridHofferson: Thats cute!

Snotster: how did fishlegs get a girlfriend before me?!

Fishface: shes not my girl friend!!

AstridHofferson: …

T-man: sure

Hissy-Missy: uh huh

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Guys pls, just leave him alone. I’m adding them now.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR has added Heather to ‘Oppressed genius’

MisTeR hiCcsTeR has added DerangedDagur to ‘Oppressed genius’

Fishface: Hi heather!

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Hey guys

AstridHofferson: Hello.

Heather: Hi Fishlegs! Wuts up Hic?

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: not much, the gang just wanted to meet you guys.

DerangedDagur: little bro!! You keeping up in your classes?? Hows the project going? Wheres snothat?

Snotster: my name is s n o t l o u t

Hissy-Missy: what project? What r u hiding Hiccup?

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Dagur, I refuse to make anymore dirt bombs. But art is going well-ish

T-man: is this why the football team stormed our dorm two days ago?

AstridHofferson: is your last name really deranged? Because from what I’m hearing I don’t really trust you.

DerangedDagur: I don’t have a last name, that i know. Are you always like this? Hiccup I though you were kidding.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: Astrid please. He’s fine. And I was not kidding dagur, don’t mess around.

Hissy-Missy: yeah astrid! Whats the worst he could do?

AstridHofferson: Hiccup already has enough chaotic energy, he doesn’t need encouragement.

Fishface: Chaotic energy?

Heather: I try to keep them in line. Might be nice to have some help tho. Wanna team up Astrid?

AstridHofferson: I like you. Sure, baseball field in 20?

Heather: you got it. :)

AstridHofferson: :)

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: oh no.

DerangedDagur: e x p o s e d

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: shut up! You’re in trouble too!

Snotster: you two should run.

Fishface: I’m still so confused.

Hissy-Missy: use this as a guide *energy chart pic*

Snotster: where does hiccup fall tho? Astrid didn’t specify

T-man: chaotic neutral

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: I resent that statement.

AstridHofferson: Hiccup you once stayed up for three nights in a row to complete a paper in time, but another time you procrastinated for 2 months and then dropped the class.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: I didn’t need that class, i needed the other. Choices were made.

DerangedDagur: you took away my throwing darts because they weren’t allowed in dorms but your cat couldn’t just stay home.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: The first time I met you, you threatened to kill me with one of those darts. Toothless would die if I left him at home.

Hissy-Missy: stop defending yourself, the chart doesn’t lie

T-man: get rekt

DerangedDagur: brother, your friends are both terrifying and awesome.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: *sigh* I get that a lot. Just.. don’t get us expelled or killed this year and everything else will work out.

AstridHofferson: Setting the bar a little low.. but I’ll allow it.

AstridHofferson has left the chat

Heather has left the chat

Hissy-Missy: did she just.. use meme culture??

T-man: unprecedented

Fishface: Hiccup, is that ALL we’re expecting?

MisTeR hiCcsTeR: I’ve lowered my expectations. Honestly, once I get through university nothing will surprise me.

Snotster: sounds boring. Things will always surprise me. Im constantly confused.

DerangedDagur: good for you.

MisTeR hiCcsTeR has left the chat

DerangedDagur has left the chat

Fishface has left the chat

Snotster: wait no

T-man: hahaha :P

T-man has left the chat

Snotster: thats not what I meant!

Snotster: guys?

Snotster has left the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always welcome, please don't hesitate. The next chapter will be out soon(hopefully).   
> Stay happy and rock the world!

**Author's Note:**

> Updates are sporadic unfortunately(I am sorry for no schedule!) But i hope they'll be soon.   
> Stay happy and rock the world.


End file.
